As the days passed after Erin and I connected with some new-found family members, the emotions ran strong and the questions kept coming. Thankfully we were getting some answers along the way. Erin and I realized too, that there was still going to be many questions we just weren’t going to be able to get answers to, without Mom. This process was starting to feel a little bittersweet without her with us, so to speak, and knowing what we’ve been searching for. But I do believe that she was with us in a different way, and I’ll get to that part later.
Aunt Lois and Uncle Joe had made their trip to Dallas which was only a stop-over on their way to Colorado, and they already had plans to meet up with our biological father, Kit, and his wife Mary Jean. But now they had another important reason to visit. Erin and I had discussed with them that having them introduce the fact that we had been found, or rather, we found them, would be best and that we also wanted to connect with Kit. We had come so far in the last few weeks and we were so much closer to making actual contact and meeting our birth father and we didn’t want to throw too many questions out at one time. Aunt Lois and Uncle Joe reported back to us how their time went in Dallas and how Uncle Joe was able to get some time alone with his brother, Kit, to break the news to him that Erin and I had recently made contact with them after so many years. Kit was shocked and stunned to hear what Uncle Joe was telling him. Uncle Joe was able to fill him in on what he knew up until that point, knowing so much more information, as well as so many questions, were going to follow. And Kit, in turn, made it clear to Uncle Joe that he was more than willing and ready to make the connection with us too! Uncle Joe and Aunt Lois were able to pass on contact information for Kit so we can follow up when we were ready.
One thing that Erin and I had agreed upon as this search was materializing and we had made contact with long lost family members, was that despite whatever happened many years ago and whatever “shoulda-woulda-coulda” questions came up, it was still in the past. What happened… happened. We had our moments in our lives of being upset, sad, angry, and confused; but we have been able to move forward in time – mostly through our humor and sarcasm that Erin and I share! Sure, we hoped to get answers to our own questions about our birth parents and fill in the gaps and voids that have been missing. But one thing we were not going to do was let anything negative come from this experience and we were not going to bring anything negative into this experience. And, with that, Erin and I drafted an email and sent it off to Kit…
Erin and I had been in contact more with Andrew, Melissa, Aunt Lois, and Uncle Joe. I began looking forward to all the information I could gather about our “new” family, extended family, history, and more. Aunt Lois became such a wonderful family historian and reference for us and Uncle Joe filled us in on many details that we never knew. And pictures… we got a bunch of pictures! Details and information were passed on to us that we never knew and, more than likely, we never would know if it weren’t for this coming to fruition. Erin and I had known that Kit was in the Army, as that was something Mom told us many years ago. But that was all we knew. And, since we hadn’t met Kit yet, or talked to him, or got a follow up email yet… we had questions. We found out our grandfather, Carlton D. Lloyd, served in the US Army during WWII, Korea, and Vietnam and retired with a rank of Major, and he carried with him some fantastic responsibilities in his career (very excited to learn this). He married his high school sweetheart Amelia “Amy” Sykes.
Together they had 4 children: Donna, Carlton David (“Kit”), Joe, and Patty. Uncle Joe also joined the US Army and served three tours in Vietnam. Upon learning this I felt an instant level of pride and humility for these three men for their service; yet at the same time a sense of sadness of missing this information and experiences for so long. This would be a feeling that has stuck with me throughout this experience. All three Veterans; our Grandfather, birth Father, and Uncle served proudly and continued to serve the country in a three letter agency after their military service. If you know me, and maybe after reading you will know me more, then you’ll also know that I am incredibly proud of ALL servicemen and women who protect and serve our country… and all those who have served and fought in the past and especially those who never made it home. Being raised with members of the Whitney family being proud Veterans has always been something I took pride in and always will. Now, finding out others in our family who would have normally been much closer to my sister and I, also served, is taking on another level of pride for us. It was information and family history like this that Erin and I have been amazed to hear. We never expected this to come to fruition let alone a strong family history like what we are starting to learn about.
It was a BIG group of people on the ZOOM call. Andrew and Melissa helped coordinate and set up a ZOOM call for Erin and I to meet (virtually) many new extended family members. Uncle Joe and Aunt Lois arrived in Colorado and other family members made the trip to meet together… and to finally meet Erin and I. You would have thought we were missing for almost 50 years by the turn out we had on this call and all the family that smiled, waved and blew kisses… virtually. It was bittersweet, because in this moment, while on this ZOOM call, reality hit again and I realized that to all of them, Erin and I were actually missing for that long. Kit and Mary Jean were not on this call as they were traveling at the time and we didn’t want this to be our first time meeting him with an overwhelming crowd online; so we would continue to develop and plan for that time to come. Over and over during this ZOOM call, we heard the same thing that family members had spent years looking for us and wondering where we were; and Erin and I knew nothing. Uncle Joe sat proudly in front of a computer screen and went around and introduced us to others on various screens, some of whom were only a few feet away from him at the moment, and others who were next door, but the was the first time “seeing” any of them! Of course we had already been in regular contact with Uncle Joe and Aunt Lois along with Andrew and Melissa but then we met MORE! Aunt Donna was there with many of her children (our cousins): Jim and his wife Tami were there and we finally put a face to the name of the person that helped facilitate this connection several weeks before, Cindy joined from her own home just behind Andrew and Melissa’s house, Donna, Kay, Amy and Michael, Tommy, and Mike and Melody were all there to meet and greet Erin and I into this family… all on various screens popping in and out saying hi. It was a special moment and one, of many, that will never be forgotten.
I've Been Thinking 