I firmly believe that in our lives today we all have a given perception of everything around us happening – that is not directly in front of us now or something we have already experienced.  An example would be:  I can perceive (have the perception of) what a giraffe may look like when sleeping all balled up under a tree on the Serengeti in Africa on a cool and clear night.  It’s visual.  I’ve seen a giraffe before.  I’ve seen pictures of the Serengeti and I can put it all together in my mind.  Is it reality – No, not really.  And in fact, I don’t even know if a giraffe even can sleep this way.  Point is, it is my perception that lead me to that visualization, theory and, now, public opinion for all to see.  Right or wrong, true or false, it is now out there for everyone to see and comment on.

Take this to our everyday lives and think about it.  Take this to the news (real or fake) and think about it.  Take this to social media and think about it.  Every day we are exposed to information that causes us to create our own perception of what it is in reality and we always tie in our own beliefs to it – right or wrong.  I believe that perception has created the biggest divide in the people of our great country.  I believe that perception has driven wedges between race, nationality, religion, neighbors and even our families.  Let that sink in for just a moment.  Now you see, that is MY PERCEPTION being imposed onto you – with nothing else to back it up (at the moment).  Hang on, I’m about to take a left turn and head in a different direction.  Maybe now you are getting my point about perception.  And maybe you are able to realize that there may or may not be some truth to it or I’m just here typing away for the hell of it to get some clicks on my blog (the latter I could care less about, honestly).  My hope, however, is that this could be thought provoking and allow a moment of pause for everyone who takes what they see, hear and “perceive” and tear it up.

Autism.  Yes, a very important topic for myself and my family.  This is one of the purposes of starting a blog; to write about stuff that ties into our world and Shane’s world as we live this every single day.  So what I type and post is going to get you thinking and your “perception” may be different at the end of the reading and it may not.  What I am doing right now is setting a scene of truth so that your Perception can be as accurate as possible for a continued genuine conversation and dialogue about Autism and the REALITY of its effects on everyone that lives with it and around it.  THIS, as I know you were wondering, is where I am hoping to recruit you all for help.  You have to understand that Autism is different for EVERY person that has been diagnosed with it (or not) and for EVERY person that lives a life parallel to those that are going through it directly.  When I get online and I see posts and videos and news updates about these wonderful stories of children and adults on the “Spectrum” that talk about their struggles in everyday life, or how they can’t get through days in their work, or they are challenged when they go to dinner.  I get that heart-warming and feel-good sense of caring that these stories are made to do.  Yes, even my blog posts do that at times (at least that is MY perception).  And these stories are positive and rewarding and they do help everyone feel good to know there is a positive side to Autism.  But where are the others?  The stories of failure.  The stories of families that have had to put their loved one in a home for better care.  The stories of families breaking up because of the impact that Autism has had on them.  The stories of kids and adults that can’t talk or tell anyone what is wrong with them and they suffer day after day with a greater sickness or disease even.  Where are those?  You won’t see many of them if you find them.  And, are you going to take your time to read that story?  Or watch that video if you knew it was a different outcome?  If your “perception” of that story may change how you view Autism and it may become more morbid or morose?  I can’t answer that, only you can.

Perception has hurt the Autism community from getting the necessary help it needs.  The Autism community suffers when only a certain group or dynamic within a group get care or attention or news coverage.  In the immortal words of Rocky Balboa – “Life ain’t all sunshine and rainbows…” (watch the clip here).  How do YOU perceive the life of a family with Autism?  Do you at all?  I can see on social media how my friends and family can celebrate every great success they come across in their daily lives.  And in talking with them directly – yes, on the phone even – I usually only hear what’s good.  Why is that?  It may be because we don’t want others to know our struggles.  Well, you all know most of mine these days so that’s not a concern here.  And it could be that we all want our own sense of positive out of our lives and we are afraid to talk about or show some of the negative in life because we may “perceive” how others will take it and think about it and, as always, they talk to others about.  This vicious cycle has to stop.  If we, as highly intellectual human beings, can’t express our shortcomings and struggles with others, then how can we find a way to succeed in life and build a better path for those that come after us?  We cannot be “fake” about our lives.  We cannot even be so bottled up that we don’t let anyone in.  I’ve learned this a lot in recent years and months.  Talking to others helps… if they are open to listening.  And I, in return, have been open to listening as well.  I will not take assumptions and perceptions at this point.  It has to be a collaboration for all of us.  We must be able to see and hear each side of a situation and not let anything else impede our own perception that is REAL and REAL ONLY.  If you are a person who truly cares and will take the time – listen.  And listen intently to those around you and those willing to speak.  Not everyone will.  Again, we have to be open to hearing about the downsides and challenges others go through.  If we can share them, we can listen to them.  No one should be so quick to perceive and pass judgment on a person or situation – EVER… Regardless of the subject.  It’s gone on too long that we don’t listen to others and if it’s not good or if it’s not something “I want to hear” then it’s not worth it.  That’s just not true.

For us, Autism is our reality.  And there are difficulties that follow it; as well as so many wonderful successes!  I’ll continue to share stories but I hope that you will truly listen to the stories.  Ask questions when you aren’t sure or want clarity.  It’s OK.  I’ve put this out there for the world to see so we are open to the dialogue.  Autism is not just one box either.  Don’t make it that way.  Sadly, there are organizations and people that do enough of that already and it impedes the Progress of Hope for others.  Ask questions.  Be real in your responses, be respectful of the situation and do not judge or take your perception as reality.